So, the Mommy Wars have roared back to life with Hilary Rosen's comment about Ann Romney not working a day in her life. As a mother, you would think that Ms. Rosen would be well aware that day after day with children is no vacation. Maybe her children are so talented or such angels that being with them is smooth sailing all the time. I doubt it. All we know for sure is that she made a dumb comment and proved without a doubt that the "women's vote" is no unified front. And she made a whole lot of sweet little stay-at-home moms like myself see red. As in, "She said WHAT?" and I haven't gotten my blood to stop boiling since, red.
What Ms. Rosen and like minded folks may not realize is that I don't really have time to sit here and write about this, or any, topic. My job, while not of the battle rush hour and punch a time clock variety, is rather demanding and relentless. There's a to-do list of items left from Monday taunting me as I sit here, but in the interest of sparing my nearest and dearest further rage on this topic, I'll get a bit of it out right here.
First of all, five boys! The Romneys have FIVE boys. Anyone who has watched ONE boy, or even one energetic girl, for an afternoon knows that keeping busy children alive and out of trouble requires superhuman strength. Then there's the little matter of Mrs. Romney's health. She's survived multiple sclerosis and cancer. Forget Mitt. Ann Romney for president!
The point Ms. Rosen was trying to make was an economic one. Clearly the Romneys are in a financial position most of us can't even imagine. Without a doubt there are many, many, many families who need multiple wage-earners bringing in checks to make ends meet. Our family is incredibly blessed that Jamieson's job can support us without my needing to work also. I have to say that around here I have more than once gotten the "it must be nice" vibe in response to my own full-time mom status. It is nice. I am fortunate. But we have made choices that enable me to be home. We do not have a lawn service, cleaning service, or cable TV. Our cell phones are pay-as-you go, non-smart phones that can't take pictures and certainly can't find the Internet. Jamieson walks to work. I wash and line dry A LOT of cloth diapers (and napkins, and use a rain barrel, and compost kitchen scraps and do other green things if you'd like to talk green cred, too). Our kids wear a lot of second-hand clothes and don't go to summer camp. We don't take Florida vacations -- or any vacations much beyond a night or two and one, gulp, tank of gas. I clip coupons, compare prices and we only buy on credit what we can afford to pay off when the bill arrives. The idea that stay-at-home moms are spending their days at the health club or in front of the TV while the kids are off playing calmly and quietly somewhere is a joke. No, it's offensive. It's pathetic how often people throw around the "I'm offended" card, but here's mine. Don't you DARE say or even imply that I am somehow wasting my education (magna cum laude from a private university, for those of you who think we housewives are a bit dim) by spending my time with my children. Jamieson and I wanted these children because we believe family is important. We want me home with them for now because we believe they are worth it. Of course they would have been fine in day care or longer school day setting. Sure it would be great for my mental health if I more frequently got away from the sibling bickering and general kid drama. Maybe the world would even be a better place if I were using my talents in a paid job right now. But that's not what we are doing. My kids are home because I want to be with them. I am willing to sacrifice some nicer stuff so we can all be together. My kids love their teachers and their teachers are so good for them, but no one will ever love them or know them as much as I do. During these early years, my kids deserve to have the stability of being home so that THEY can go out into the world and work and make it a better place. Anna can be a mom or a CEO or a gas station attendant. I really don't care, as long as she, and her brothers, know that their parents love them more than anything in the world. (And just to clarify, I'm not saying working moms don't love their kids. I know they do and they have my respect for their amazing ability to juggle all their commitments. I just know that if
I were working right now, the kids would feel the stress, not the love.)
So, as for the economy, I feel the effects of the economy with every choice I make for my household -- food, gas, kids' activities. As for being a mom at home, it's the best JOB in the world. It makes every bit of difference in my children's lives and maybe other folks in the community, too. Don't underestimate the housewives of America. We're a bit distracted, what with the dishes, laundry, school drop-off and pick up, homework, grocery shopping, home maintenance and what not, but we are paying attention to the people who affect and influence our families. And we vote.
