Here we go again

Of course I can't let this one sneak by: Cherie Blair, wife of the former British prime minister, has declared that women who stay at home full-time with their kids aren't setting a good example for their children. Sigh. Very exciting to know that I am a "yummy mummy." Seriously, wasn't the point of feminism to give women CHOICES, not to guilt women into fulfilling someone else's life ambitions? I can assure you children raised by a full-time at-home mom have NO problem with a "sense of independence." Let's call it what it is folks: if you aren't earning money, society calls you worthless. Please, someone look me in the eye and tell me that I'm wasting my time and education. Otherwise can we stop demanding that the only women who dare call themselves feminists or even good mothers are those who refuse a life that looks remotely like the life of a woman from our grandmothers' era. 

Remembering Grandpa

Grandpa and "Christy" 

This past Sunday marked 10 years since my grandfather, Ernest Steinhorst, passed away. I still have to remind myself sometimes that he and Grandma aren't in their old house on Fifth Street, which makes me so very sad. There's nothing I would enjoy more than introducing them to my kids. I know Grandma would fill them full of cookies. I can picture Grandpa letting them sit on his lap while they look at books. I think they would have been tickled to fill their tiny house with yet more great-grandkids.

Grandma visiting with Callie and Molly, 2004

By some standards, my grandparents may not be memorable. They were farm folks of limited formal education. They were soft-spoken people who lived simply. I can tell you, though, that it's because of them, that I am who I am and I do what I do. Every year our family would file into "their" church pew on Christmas Eve. My humble grandparents would beam with joy to have everyone home for Christmas. I have never seen anyone of business or wealth or status who was as happy as they were just to be with family. Because of them, I can be home with my children every day knowing that I don't have to do anything else with my life for it to be a success. From Ernest and Dorothy Steinhorst I learned that a life well lived is one in which you work hard, put your faith in God and cherish family. Anything beyond that is just icing on the cake.

Grandma and Grandpa, I love you and miss you.

Good Books

I just wanted to give a quick mention of two books I have recently finished reading and thoroughly enjoyed. (I know it's surprising that I have time to read given my complete inability to accomplish basic household tasks but one of the many joys of having a nursing baby is mandated reading time. I hope the kids will all forgive me for reading over their precious little noggins. Maybe it's those early memories of mom reading that turn them into the book lovers they are.)

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity by Meg Meeker. I recently heard a Family Life Today podcast interview of Dr. Meeker and tracked down her most recent book the next day. She's a mother of four and a pediatrician, so right there she has some life experience to back up her advice for mothers. There's really nothing mentioned here that most mothers don't intuitively know. Her topics are common sense points like don't give in to mom competition, make time for friends, let go of fear, and have faith. Sometimes we need the reminder and Dr. Meeker has a very approachable, non-judgmental tone. Especially on issues of faith, I appreciate that she is honest with both her faith and her doubts. She admits to having moments of questioning God in the face of struggle and suffering. To my mind that gives her more credibility as a woman of faith than those who serve out platitudes and "let go and let God" religious cliches. 

Crunchy Cons: How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, right wing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party)."  by Rod Dreher. This book was recommended to me when it was first published several years ago. I probably wouldn't have appreciated it at the time, but now it was a most refreshing read. In this era of divisive politics and rigid ideology, I appreciated reading something I could relate to -- someone who is a conservative voter yet socially adheres to many practices assumed to be the domain of only liberal folks: organic food, environmental conservation, architectural preservation, modest consumption. I doubt it's a book to change minds, unfortunately, because I think very few people dare to read anything that doesn't promise to support their preexisting views. That's a shame because Drehers ideas are incredibly common sense and deserve wider consideration. Here's the article that prompted Dreher to write the book in the first place.

William - Nine Months Already!

William: Nine Months

On Thursday, William hit the 9-month old milestone. Despite a mild cold, he had a great well-baby check up. He is over 19 inches tall and 29 pounds of baby awesomeness. He was pleased that this doctor visit involved no shots. Maybe that's why he gave the nurse practitioner several hugs. Not even a year and already the little flirt!

William has spent the past few weeks rapidly leaving behind all things infant and leaping into little boy territory. About two weeks ago he mastered crawling. He's been more or less mobile longer than that, with rolling, scooting and dragging himself along getting him where he wanted to go. Once the "real" baby crawl technique clicked for him, though, he was able to get places ever so much faster. Now we're back to baby-proofing everything at baby level. It's so interesting to see what catches his eye. So far William hasn't pinched his fingers on the toy kitchen cabinets, but we do have the oddity of a baby lock on one of the doors. William is fascinated with doors -- he's realized he needs to back up before pulling a his bedroom forward and crawling through. Then he zips down the hallway, either heading into Anna's room to play with the alphabet magnets or, more often, into Erik's room to bang together pieces of wooden train track. It seems that we have another railfan because William is captivated by Erik's various trains and train layouts. Good to know we won't have to pursue any new toys or activities at this point. William's interest in Erik's things means we have now arrived at the moment I've been fretting about -- keeping big kid toys (Legoland!) out of little kid hands. So far, William hasn't put anything other his own fingers in his mouth, but keeping the tiny stuff away from him is going to be a major challenge for our household for the next few years.

I was going to write that William is finally getting into consistent good sleep habits, but I'm listening to him whimper on and on right now instead of napping. As it's a Saturday, the day's schedule is just different enough to convince him that he might miss something if he gives in to sleep. Overall, he's becoming a good sleeper. After a few weeks of micro naps, he's been taking two solid naps a day most of the time. Now I can't seem to do any errands since I need to be home for his sleep time, but that's fine for now. At night he's always been a decent sleeper. When he wakes it's usually just once, or twice if he's not feeling well. A few weeks ago I thought I was ready to enforce the no-nightime snacks rule and eliminate our 11:30 nursing session, but when it dawned on me that it was one of the few times I could enjoy my littlest boy without company, I postponed the event a few more weeks. So, it was Mom's issue, not his that kept his night waking going. This week I decided he was old enough for us to all sleep better, and with just mild protest he's been doing great. The catch here is that he still has no teeth, which means once I get used to full nights of sleep again, we're bound to have a few nights of discomfort when they finally come in.

The nap protest continues, so I think we have a small grump to deal with today. I think we can cure what ails him with his second-favorite activity after crawling -- eating. William despises prepackaged babyfood (except Sprout chicken dishes. Good stuff. Even I could tollerate that, I think.) but nibbling on whatever else is on the table makes him very happy indeed. So, snack time, here we come.

Boys being boys

See that little face? That's the look of absolute adoration for the big brother. These guys are already bonding over trains. An even better brother moment came last night at bedtime when Erik showed off his new-found talent for making, ahem, farting noises with his arms. William laughed uproariously every time. Then he stopped and grabbed Erik's hand. Erik got the most thoughtful expression on his face and said, "He just held my hand for the very first time!" Pause. Resume boy noises and laughter. I think these two are going to have a beautiful relationship.

Erik shows William all the features of the flashing, ringing train signals. 

Normal morning:
Erik building train tracks;
Anna in William's space;
William at the center of everything.

(To keep things fair, here's a cute Anna moment.  Anna is always trying to figure out the boundaries of our neighborhood and the location of everything else. So, when notified that our errands would take us to  West Chicago yesterday, she inquired, "Not Big 'Cago?" Try to find the zip code for that one.)

Mommy Roars

So, the Mommy Wars have roared back to life with Hilary Rosen's comment about Ann Romney not working a day in her life. As a mother, you would think that Ms. Rosen would be well aware that day after day with children is no vacation. Maybe her children are so talented or such angels that being with them is smooth sailing all the time. I doubt it. All we know for sure is that she made a dumb comment and proved without a doubt that the "women's vote" is no unified front. And she made a whole lot of sweet little stay-at-home moms like myself see red. As in, "She said WHAT?" and I haven't gotten my blood to stop boiling since, red.

What Ms. Rosen and like minded folks may not realize is that I don't really have time to sit here and write about this, or any, topic. My job, while not of the battle rush hour and punch a time clock variety, is rather demanding and relentless. There's a to-do list of items left from Monday taunting me as I sit here, but in the interest of sparing my nearest and dearest further rage on this topic, I'll get a bit of it out right here.

First of all, five boys! The Romneys have FIVE boys. Anyone who has watched ONE boy, or even one energetic girl, for an afternoon knows that keeping busy children alive and out of trouble requires superhuman strength. Then there's the little matter of Mrs. Romney's health. She's survived multiple sclerosis and cancer. Forget Mitt. Ann Romney for president!

The point Ms. Rosen was trying to make was an economic one. Clearly the Romneys are in a financial position most of us can't even imagine. Without a doubt there are many, many, many families who need multiple wage-earners bringing in checks to make ends meet. Our family is incredibly blessed that Jamieson's job can support us without my needing to work also. I have to say that around here I have more than once gotten the "it must be nice" vibe in response to my own full-time mom status. It is nice. I am fortunate. But we have made choices that enable me to be home. We do not have a lawn service, cleaning service, or cable TV. Our cell phones are pay-as-you go, non-smart phones that can't take pictures and certainly can't find the Internet. Jamieson walks to work. I wash and line dry A LOT of cloth diapers (and napkins, and use a rain barrel, and compost kitchen scraps and do other green things if you'd like to talk green cred, too). Our kids wear a lot of second-hand clothes and don't go to summer camp. We don't take Florida vacations -- or any vacations much beyond a night or two and one, gulp, tank of gas. I clip coupons, compare prices and we only buy on credit what we can afford to pay off when the bill arrives. The idea that stay-at-home moms are spending their days at the health club or in front of the TV while the kids are off playing calmly and quietly somewhere is a joke. No, it's offensive. It's pathetic how often people throw around the "I'm offended" card, but here's mine. Don't you DARE say or even imply that I am somehow wasting my education (magna cum laude from a private university, for those of you who think we housewives are a bit dim) by spending my time with my children. Jamieson and I wanted these children because we believe family is important. We want me home with them for now because we believe they are worth it. Of course they would have been fine in day care or longer school day setting. Sure it would be great for my mental health if I more frequently got away from the sibling bickering and general kid drama. Maybe the world would even be a better place if I were using my talents in a paid job right now. But that's not what we are doing. My kids are home because I want to be with them. I am willing to sacrifice some nicer stuff so we can all be together. My kids love their teachers and their teachers are so good for them, but no one will ever love them or know them as much as I do. During these early years, my kids deserve to have the stability of being home so that THEY can go out into the world and work and make it a better place. Anna can be a mom or a CEO or a gas station attendant. I really don't care, as long as she, and her brothers, know that their parents love them more than anything in the world. (And just to clarify, I'm not saying working moms don't love their kids. I know they do and they have my respect for their amazing ability to juggle all their commitments. I just know that if I were working right now, the kids would feel the stress, not the love.)

So, as for the economy, I feel the effects of the economy with every choice I make for my household -- food, gas, kids' activities. As for being a mom at home, it's the best JOB in the world. It makes every bit of difference in my children's lives and maybe other folks in the community, too. Don't underestimate the housewives of America. We're a bit distracted, what with the dishes, laundry, school drop-off and pick up, homework, grocery shopping, home maintenance and what not, but we are paying attention to the people who affect and influence our families. And we vote.

Beware the germs of March

Six years ago, I would have proclaimed that the hardest part of being a parent is surviving a night with a sleepless baby. This week I discovered that those sleepless nights of early momhood were nothing compared to night after night after night of tending the needs of three sick children. Erik is recovering from a cold and only woke up once  last night from a bad dream. The younger two, however, are testing my physical endurance with their nighttime woes. William has been battling a cold for at least two weeks and a cough for several weeks prior to that. On Thursday he was diagnosed with RSV. Previously I thought that it was only something preemies and sickly children caught, but not this year and not in this house. It seems like half the families we know have been battling some respiratory problem. Fortunately, William is generally fairly healthy. That didn't stop us from taking a trip to the ER Thursday to get his breathing under control. Anna has a nasty cold, too, and a fever that spiked dramatically late yesterday afternoon. I've been up with all the kids on and off all week, but last night I just seemed to go from room to room all night. Coffee is my very, very best friend.

The good news is that everyone seems to be much more like themselves this morning. The fevers are breaking. The coughing is still rather unpleasant but it hasn't brought anyone to hysterics today yet. I'm grateful for the tools we have for dealing with these illnesses, but I'm amazed at how much medical junk I'm wielding right now: ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Benadryll, nebulizer, inhaler, oximeter. My personal favorite: the Snot Sucker -- yet another leap past the icky frontier of stuff a person will do only because they are a parent.

I'm also beyond grateful for the local friends who have been so helpful and encouraging as we try to mend. Sure, this isn't the worst illness we could be battling, but it's been a bit scary and a lot exhausting. So, thank you to everyone who's kind words have done wonders to keep me sane.

And now, to have more coffee.